at times I feel that I’m a very troubled soul with an extremely vague idea of my real identity. I’ve grown too used to protecting my image in public that even when I feel like pouring my heart out, I will somehow manage to get back to my sarcastically cheerful self after just a few hints of sadness. but today I’ve become officially tired of putting on a show, and just got this urge to stay disconnected with the world for a while.
I’ve grown so concerned about what others think of me that I hurt myself, and it just doesn’t feel right. I’ve got no mental strength left to hold on to others either. I’m tired of trying to share yet hide my troubled thoughts. tired of the feeling that I’m a burden, that I’m just bugging others and wasting their time. I’m tired of the thought that I need to live up to their expectations, and even more tired of my own broken lies.
I wish I could just have someone to comfortably cry to again. and I wish I could have the courage to cry to someone again.
on a day when all mental problems are piled up and explode in my head. let me be weak for a day.
